i'm missing summer so much! in the summer, i used to complain about how much i wanted school to start. so i could see
him. so i've have something to do. to keep myself productive. why did i ever wish such things? in the summer, i was so carefree. willing and ready to do anything. i was reckless. i was so, content. no school's back in and i
hate it.
he has a girlfriend, a butterface but what can you say. i'm too busy, have no time for anything i want to do. there's too much homework. too much rehearsal for the musical. i don't even have time to read for pleasure anymore! school is suckish, even though i'm getting good grades. it's just too much and i just wanna crawl into a little ball and disappear. i've been wanting that too much lately, to disappear. it seems to be the only thing i feel that would work. everything's been piling and it's ridiculous. disappearing seems to be the only option....
but i cant get stuck in these disappearing thoughts. i cant get trapped in the manhole. i gotta dig myself out! i have to keep my smile on my face and just keep working towards my goals. always look on the brighter side. my birthday's in 2 weeks! i'll be 40 pounds lighter and 10 times higher.
