black bics and card tricks.

why, oh why? my ipod won't work, i dont know why. im cramping and no drugs are solving my problem. my friends are annoying me and im on the verge of a breakdown. my flow is too heavy. my hair isnt done and i look a mess. my outfits are running out of inspiration. my brother is being an asshole. the other is a maniac. my sister is a self-rightious bitch. my classes are getting too hard. my homework is piling up. i'm too fat. nothing is going right and i want to cry. 

we've created enchantment.

leave the rest to me.

i'm missing summer so much! in the summer, i used to complain about how much i wanted school to start. so i could see him. so i've have something to do. to keep myself productive. why did i ever wish such things? in the summer, i was so carefree. willing and ready to do anything. i was reckless. i was so, content. no school's back in and i hate it. he has a girlfriend, a butterface but what can you say. i'm too busy, have no time for anything i want to do. there's too much homework. too much rehearsal for the musical. i don't even have time to read for pleasure anymore! school is suckish, even though i'm getting good grades. it's just too much and i just wanna crawl into a little ball and disappear. i've been wanting that too much lately, to disappear. it seems to be the only thing i feel that would work. everything's been piling and it's ridiculous. disappearing seems to be the only option....

but i cant get stuck in these disappearing thoughts. i cant get trapped in the manhole. i gotta dig myself out! i have to keep my smile on my face and just keep working towards my goals. always look on the brighter side. my birthday's in 2 weeks! i'll be 40 pounds lighter and 10 times higher.

the rainy days.

seattle's been so rainy lately. not the romantic rainy, but the depressing rain. i love the rain, but this is too much. i've been stuck in the house the last few days (because of a sickness) and its been sucky. my dad's being an ass and my mom's never home, so basically i've been inclosed in the 4 walls of my room. i feel like a prisoner. let me out!